Financial abuse is considered the “most widespread form of domestic abuse” — the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) says it occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases (1).
It is defined as a situation where one partner uses money to control or manipulate the other partner. This can include limiting their access to money and financial information, including how much money they have as a couple, restricting spending and preventing them from becoming financially independent.
One calls to The Ramsey Show in November he highlighted how financial abuse joins other forms of abuse and can be used to make someone feel powerless (2).
Jackie from Cincinnati, Ohio told hosts George Kamel and Rachel Cruze that her husband was “verbally, emotionally and financially abusive.” She continued to explain “last night [that] he broke into physical abuse and was arrested.”
While Jackie’s story is shocking, it also highlights the serious impact of financial abuse. As she told the hosts, “I’m in a situation where my husband is threatening to remove me from all the accounts, from the credit cards, and threatens to leave me with zero… He says that I need to become a prostitute in order to have money, which is very sick.”
Jackie says her husband, the sole breadwinner, is very knowledgeable about financial matters and is taking advantage of her ignorance. Their children are in college, and she wanted the hosts to give her advice on how to protect herself financially.
said Jackie The Ramsey Show host she and her husband have a joint account and she is an authorized user on his credit card. He has a separate account in which he keeps the money he receives from his mother.
A stunned Cruze advised, “When you get off the phone with us, I’d drive to the bank, and I’d create a new checking account. I’d take half the money that’s in that joint checking account and put it into your own checking account that he doesn’t have access to.”
She also suggested that Jackie stay in a hotel until she can get the support of friends and family.
“You deserve better than this, Jackie,” she said, making it clear that divorce is the only way forward she sees. The Ramsey Show usually recommends merging finances, but Cruze said that when it comes to things like abuse and addiction, separate accounts are needed for protection.
“He knows he is holding all the cards,” said Kamel. “I think when he realizes, oh she’s not coming back, oh she created her own bills, oh she took half the money … I don’t think he’s going to be laughing then, when the courts ask him to pay alimony or child support, whatever … There are laws that protect you here.”
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Since Jackie is only an authorized user on the credit card, she is not responsible for any debt on that account. As for the joint account, “in many cases, either state law or the terms of the account prevent someone from removing the other person from a joint checking account without their consent. Some banks, however, may offer accounts where they allow this type of removal,” according to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB).
“Financial abuse is devastatingly effective because it is often not illegal, and it is an invisible tactic of domestic violence,” said Kim Pentico, director of economic justice programs, National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) (3). “The women literally have no money for the cab fare, to buy food and other necessities of life, often forcing them to choose between being homeless and being beaten. It is a deeply powerless situation for these women.”
“Any woman can become a victim of financial abuse, regardless of economic or social status,” said John Rugel, senior vice president, life customer satisfaction and underwriting at Allstate.
It is important to note that as a joint account holder, you have equal rights and shared ownership of all funds in any bank accounts you own, regardless of who deposited the money. While a financially controlling spouse may try to block your access to the account or account information, you have the right to know as much as you need to know about your family’s finances.
Since women tend to be more vulnerable to abuse in relationships, some financial gurus like Kevin O’Leary advise them to sign prenuptial agreements and keep their finances separate even after marriage. This can give women the financial freedom to easily leave an abusive relationship — something Jackie’s situation shows too few women have.
If you feel your spouse is financially abusive and may use your information to open accounts in your name or access your accounts, you can call your bank and credit card companies to change your account numbers, PIN numbers, passwords, and any other access codes. It is very important to choose passwords that your spouse or others will not be able to guess. Also make sure that any computers or devices you use to access your banking information are secure and password protected. Some abusers install spyware on their partner’s devices, so make sure yours are free of any suspicious programs.
If you believe you are a victim of financial abuse, or any other form of abuse, you can seek help and support immediately by contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).
We rely only on verified sources and credible reporting from third parties. For details, see our ethics and editorial guidelines.
National Network to Stop Domestic Violence (1); The Ramsey Show Highlights/YouTube (2); The Allstate Foundation (3)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
